I am thankful for you...

Thanksgiving is here and gone and as I sit drinking a glass of wine contemplating what I am thankful for, I realize there is so much.  I am ever so grateful for my children, the blessing they are to my life and the chaos they bring on a daily life, yes too me, they are still my blessings!  And of course I am thankful for my husband, who regardless of my mood or attitude or stupidity, loves me unconditionally and thinks I am the most beautiful woman still after all these years!!!  I am thankful for my job and my health, although I often feel quite older than I would like and yes I am thankful that I have a home and a place to lay my head.  I am ever so thankful for my faith and belief in my savior and all he is and has sacrificed for me.  I am thankful I can share that with others and give my children that opportunity to truly be thankful for their faith and that it is so very cool!  

But I guess to be more specific, I have to say I am quite thankful for one particular woman in my life and she has only been in it for a short while.  To me, she is my sister, my twin and my pillar of strength.  She challenges me, pushes me, encourages me and makes me a better mother, friend and wife.  She allows me to be myself and understand that I am not perfect and allows me to be the person I want to be.  She laughs with me, at me and for me!  She gets all my imperfections and finishes my sentences.  I am so thankful for her.  She has given me a spirit and lifted my being to a level it has not been in awhile.  She has given my children unconditional love like they were her own and a possible daughter in law and an arranged marriage.  I can't say enough amazing things about her.  All I know is I am lucky she walked into my life when she did, because with out her life would not be as fun, happy, exciting, silly, vulgar, creative and simply good.  I don't think I tell her enough, but thank you girl for being in my life and making me so thankful!!!!  

She simply rekindles my inner spirit!

I am so thankful!!! Have a wonderful week and I hope you fill your life with people that rekindle your spirit!!!

Simple Rules

So I have been thinking a lot about my life lately and how I am choosing to live it these days.  As I was thinking, I realized that my life is worth so much more than I am allowing it to be.  I realized I am allowing myself to be unhappy and worry about things I have no control over.  Control, such a hard thing to let go of and admit really that we don't have control.  When it comes down to it, we have to just accept what comes and realize that life goes on and that control doesn't exist.  

Which leads me to these 5 simple rules I came across the other day.  Notice that Simple is in the title, but how often to we ever refer to things as simple or much less allow them to be that, Simple!

1.  Free your heart from hatred.

                   Easier sad than done, right?  It should be, why hate, why carry hate in our hearts.  It is so much work to hate and be angry.  It hurts our whole bodies and souls.  It sucks the life out of who we are and makes us become someone we really are not.  I realized that I carry hate around in my heart and it does make me be someone I don't like.  I am not a hateful person nor do I like the feeling of my heart weighted down.  I am letting hate go, it will be hard and a struggle, but why waste my life and time on hating, it is not who I am and it is not who I want to be

2.  Free your mind from worries.

                   Oh man is this a tough one.  I worry so much about so many different things every second of every day.  Worry consumes me many a days and I have to tell myself to just let it go and give it up to the higher power.  To not worry for a day would be so glorious.  To be free and allow myself to just roll with the punches.  My goal is to achieve this a little at at time.  Worry when it is absolutely needed and allow the other small things to play out in their own time.  Worry less and enjoy the life and people in it.  Good luck to me on this one!!!

3.  Live Simply.

                     This one I feel I have down.  I am a simple person and live a very simple life.  I am ok with that.  I want my children to realize that life can be simple and that can be wonderful.  I want to live each day with the realization that everything I have is a gift for me to cherish.  Love the simple moments with my kids, husband and friends and allow myself to be ok with the fact that I am simple and my life is simple.  It is a good thing!

4.  Give More.

                   This one had me stumped at first.  You see, I feel like I give a lot of myself on a daily basis and spread myself quite thin, yet I don't ever give myself enough credit for that.  I sell myself short or feel like I could have done more.  I question my choices and wonder if there is something else I could of done.  I often feel guilty not giving more at my children's school, or my church or to my teams I coach.  I feel guilty I don't have the money to be giving to other and buying gifts for every occasion.  But that's not what its about anyway.  Giving more means thinking of others before yourself and allowing yourself to give more to yourself too.  I will work on this area and realize that giving more doesn't always mean money or gifts, but more of my love, time and understanding to those I lose patience with or judge to quickly.  I will give more of myself to being a better person, friend, wife, mother and friend.

5.  Expect Less.

                        My mother use to say do things for others because you want too, not because you expect something in return.  Do it because you want to!!!! Don't expect others to do the same.  Be the bigger person.  I often find myself being hurt by others simple because I expect so much of them.  I expect to be loved back as much as I have loved them, or I expect to be cared for as much as I have cared about them or I expect them to acknowledge things as much as I have acknowledged them.  But really what I have realized is that my expectations of others are often higher and my love for others often exceeds their love for me.  And you know, that's ok, cause that is who I am and that will never change.  So expecting less from others will be something I don't ever accept, but I will learn to live with it.  I will learn to remember my mothers wise words and remember the person she was and that is who I will strive to be.  Expect less from others but not myself!  I cannot change other people, nor can I control them, but I can be a keeper of myself and that I can be good at and expect more from.

So I guess Simple is not always what it seems.  Life is not simple by any means, but life can be so wonderful and so less stressful if we allow ourselves to actually just live it.  Life is too short to do anything else but love it, enjoy it, treasure it, conquer it, challenge it, experience it, laugh at it, cry at it and simply live each day of it, simple or not!

Have a wonderful Friday everyone!!!

Raising Girlies

                       

I absolutely love this!!!!! I came across this a few weeks ago and couldn't help but feel it was speaking to me!  The job of raising girls in this world is so very scary.  They are not blessed with a gene pool where they will not have to watch what enters their mouths.  They will every single day of their life.  I cringe at the thought someone ever tells them they are not beautiful or fat.  I want them to know that they are amazing creatures with strength that could move mountains and eyes as blue as the sea.  Their hair as beautiful as a strawberry and as deep dark as a bar of chocolate.  I want them to know that their worth is not determined by what size pants they wear. I want them to embrace their curves, their odd shaped toes, their short finger nails and be strong.  I want my girls to understand how truly wonderful they are and how each one lights up a room when they walk in just with their smile.  I want them to look at themselves and say "I am an amazing girl that can rock whatever I put my mind to!"

I also realize I have to be the mother that instills that in them.  They have to see me loving myself and all that I am.  They have to see me taking care of my body and feeling beautiful myself.  That job is not always easy.  Even at 38 I find myself struggling with my own body image.  That's what scares me the most.  It has been there since I can remember.  Growing up around others that referred to me as a butterball or big boned, leaves an impression to this day.  But I also know I have to start accepting myself as myself and love all that I am.  

That will help my girls to love who they are. And they are so cool and so funny and so silly and so kind when no one is looking and so unique and so competitive and so stylish and so fabulous in their own way!  I don't want them to lose that ever!  

So here is my challenge...

                  I am going to encourage them to be healthy, fit, unique, smart, capable, independent, kind, and loving.  I am going to give them the time to become who they are and find out that life is tough, but they can prevail and be amazing.  I am going to watch them be successful and happy.  I am going to encourage them to embrace their bodies and love every inch of themselves.  And I am going to teach them to accept nothing but the best for themselves and to not allow others to ever bring them down.  I am going to tell them everyday how smart, kind and wonderful they are.  My girls will know who the Greek goddesses are and realize that is what a beautiful, healthy body looks like.  They will know that they are perfect creatures created by God for this world!  

I am so lucky to have my girls and I am so blessed to be given this job of being their mother and raising them to take this world by storm!!!!!

Girl Power all the way!!!!!!!!!

Rethinking "What I Know"

What I Know...

Life is such a crazy thing.  So much of it is spent wishing or wanting a life that is not ours.  I have found myself doing that a lot and realizing that my life is a gift.  I should cherish every moment, every second of every day and not take one moment for granted!  

Ok, so I have thought long and hard about this first Blog and found this as one of my prior blogs about 2 years ago, so I decided why not??? Let's see how my life has changed and what really matters.  I was surprised to see how much has changed and how many things stay the same.   Hope you enjoy it...

1. I've come to realize that my feet... 

Remind me everyday that mom was right!  Always buy good shoes!!!!!

2. I've come to realize that my job...
is to not only to be a teacher, but a  caregiver, a counselor and a parent.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I enjoy singing really loud to music.

4. I've come to realize that I need... 

to start taking care of myself on a daily basis!

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...

the ability to tolerate stupid people.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when... 

I worry about things that really have no relevance in my life.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm sleepy...
curling up on the couch with my kiddos wrapped around me is all I really need.

8. I've come to realize that money... 

truly does make things easier, but does not make me happy.

9. I've come to realize that certain people... 

do not belong in my life.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...
put my children first, no matter what.

11.  I come to realize that girlfriends...
keep me grounded and really get how ridiculous men are!

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
was fricking amazing!!!!!! excuse my french!

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
is my life line these days!!!

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
it was going to be the start of something good!

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
I came to the realization that life moves so fast and I need to stop wishing it faster.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking... 

how much I wish was doing this survey with my friend Jayna, she would be cracking me up!

17. I've come to realize that my dad...
is a survivor in more ways than I realize.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
I am really just being nosey!

19. I've come to realize that today...
I will not spend time worrying about things/people I cannot change

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I will begin a passion I have wanted to start forever!

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
is another chance to be a good mother!  so so true

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
lose about 25 to 30 lbs.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is reading this right now...
is probably thinking how they would fill in the blanks.

24. I've come to realize that life...
is so precious to waste on things or people that cause you pain or heartache.

25. I've come to realize this weekend...
I will spend time doing things with my children instead of doing things for them.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
is my childrens voices singing to their favorite song.

27. I've come to realize that my friends...
are my lifeline.

28. I've come to realize that this year...
that everything truly does happen for a reason.

29. I've come to realize that my old friends...
are just as important as the new ones.

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
do more things for myself.

31. I've come to realize that I love...
to laugh to the point I am crying and almost peeing my pants.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
why I don't have all 4 of my children with me.

33. I've come to realize that my past...
was given to me for so so  many reasons and I am a better person because of it.

34. I've come to realize that parties...
make me so happy.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
of not seeing my kids grow up

36. I've come to realize that my life...
has been blessed in so many ways and I am so very lucky.

Have a great day!

And so it begins again...

It has been almost 2 years since my last blog and thanks to an amazing friend in my life, I have decided its time to write again.  Life has changed so much for me in the past 2 years, I often look back on it all and realize that "Everything does happen for a Reason!"  I am blessed in more ways I could have imagined and have come to realize so many truths.  I am so excited to begin another journey through my writings and share the crazy, unpredictable life I call my own...

Everything Happens for a Reason...

Happy New Year Everyone!  It has been awhile since I have taken time out to write.  It isn't that I didn't have anything to say, because trust me that is never the case. I just haven't taken the time to do it.  Sometimes the easiest tasks are the hardest to complete and when I write I want to make sure its worth reading.  If there is anything I have learned from the past year it is that nothing is ever what it seems. 

"Everything happens for reason" Whatever!  is all I have to say to that.  I have come to dislike that saying and feel like it really doesn't do anyone any good at the time its used.  It should be banned from people's conversations or comments until a year or so from the incident its being used for.  Then and only then can you truly look back and say, "ok, yeah, I get it!"  Until then, it is not allowed.  Until then it is an annoying as "You'll shoot your eye out!" from the movie, A Christmas Story.

I have heard that statement several times throughout my life.  Each time my response has always been, really?? I don't get it!  Why me? Why now?  What did I do to deserve this?  You would think by now I would just accept it and move on.  I think it's the part in me that has issues letting go.  I think its the part of me that becomes too committed and dedicated. The part in me that doesn't allow me to dismiss things I have worked so hard for.  I think its the part of me that expects so much more from myself.

The very first time I can remember someone saying to me, "Everything happens for a reason" was when a good friend of mine lost her brother.  I remember looking at that person and thinking how can losing a brother have a reason?  How can this person sit here and say that?  Much later on I realized the much bigger picture.  The next time I heard this wonderful saying was when my mother became quite sick with Cancer and eventually lost her battle.  What could possible be the reason I have to lose my mother at such a young age before she even got to be a grandmother to my kids?  I didn't understand why someone could say getting cancer had a purpose.  I later realized my mother became my guardian angel and a grandmother in heaven.  The next time I hear those words was after I lost my first child.  I think that would have to be one of the hardest times to hear those words.  I remember being so angry, so upset and so unsure about my life.  Four months later I realized that the reason I lost Dillan was so Drew could be apart of my life.  It is a hard reason to swallow, but I finally understood at that point.  Everything  does happen for a reason.  Maybe it is hard to see at the moment it happens, but God does have a plan and reason for everything.
I have had several other times in my life that saying has come across my path, but the most recent came a little less than a week ago.  After 5 years of being a dedicated and committed teacher, I was told because of budget issues I was being let go.  First time I have ever been "let go" from anything.  The rush of emotion and heartache that I have felt has been overwhelming.  How do you let go of something you loved so much?  So I am left once again with hearing, "Everything happens for a reason?"  I have to believe that is true and I have to believe that God will take care of me like he has done in the past. 

It is so easy to say those 5 words to someone when it isn't happening to you.  It is much harder to swallow them when you are the person hearing them.  "Everything happens for a reason," I have to believe that is still true and that the future holds something wonderful and fullfilling!  I have to believe that life goes on and God's plan has to be a good one!

“I do not fear because God strengthens me.” Isaiah 41:10

Giving Thanks

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."

                                                                                                   Colossians 2:6-7

I love this verse.  It is so strong and so true.  With Thanksgivng around the corner how can we not take time to give thanks for so many things.  I think way to often we get caught up in life and forget that being thankful should be an everyday thing.  The opportunities, people, friendships, love, peace, breath... so many different, wonderful things that make us who we are.  Do we say thank you enough?  Do we tell those people we are thankful for them?  Do we take time to thank God for all of it, every little bit?  I know there are plenty of times that I don't.  I take for granted so many things and realize that being Thankful shouldn't just be around the holidays, it should be everyday.  Wake up each moring and thank God for another opportunity to be a better mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, aunt, cousin, grandaughter, stepdaughter and teacher.  These are the moments that count.  These are the time we say how we feel and express our gratitude.  Why wait, why shy away from how we feel, why make an excuse.  Life is so short and things can change in an instance.  Be thankful every second of every day. 
So I have come up with some things I am thankful for in my life and I would love to share them with whoever cares to read them. 

I am Thankful for...
   my faith, my God and all he has given up for me.
   my husband, who through it all, no matter what, loves me
   my children, who have taught me what it means to be loved unconditionally every minute of  everyday and that the littles things in life are what make us who we are.
   my angel Dillan, she has taught me to remember that everyone has a story to tell
   my mother, who showed me that you should do things for others because you want to and for showing me what it means to be fearless and strong
    my father, who pushed me to achieve my goals and always believed in my abilities
    my oldest sister, who without knowing it, helps my heart heal with her love
    my mother in law, who always makes me feel like I am her own daughter
    my nieces and nephews, who gave me an opportunity to be a mother, even before having my own kids
    my best friend, who has taught me what true friendship really is
    my old friends, that can always make me smile, are much cheaper than therapy and taught me true sisterhood
    my old principal Donna, who believed in me and reminded me how important faith is in your life.
    my co-workers, who challenge me and push me to be a better teacher
    my Karen, that has become my second mom, showed me the type of grandmother I want to be and for laughing with me everyday.
    my students, without even knowing, make each day easy to get up and come to work.

And the list could go on and on.  It is amazing all the people I have to be thankful for.  I noticed that the things I am truly thankful for are not material things or possessions, but they are real people that help make my life so much more each day.  How blessed I am, how loved I am and how lucky I am. 
Thank you for blessing my life!